The "Letter"

It will be 15 years this coming weekend since my father's passing. I find it fitting for my first blog to share with you excerts from a letter that I read at his funeral. It was written by my father when I went away to college at UCSB (four years before his passing). Although it was written to me, my siblings and I felt it truly represented the type of person my dad was, the way he parented us and the beliefs he wished to pass on.

"...You are embarked on a new journey, a new way of life. I hope you believe me when I tell you that the same fundamental principles and basic beliefs that have brought you to this point will also carry you through this period of your life. Most importantly, you must continue to believe in yourself and to chart your own course; not selfishly, or with an eye towards acceptance by others, but with a genuine desire to be all that you can be as a person. I know that this sounds very simple, but sometimes what appears simple in theory can be very difficult in practice.

For the rest of your life you are going to be asked to make choices, and those choices will often appear confusing. They are not confusing, they only appear confusing. It is important that you remember this. Whenever you are confused, it is because you are not seeing clearly. What was precious and enduring to you as a child will be just as precious and enduring to you as an adult. When this does not appear true, you can be assured that you are not seeing clearly.

Life is essentially good, people are essentially good, and most of all, you are essentially good. The surface of life will shift and move, and at times, you feel lost in the storm; but underneath, fundamentally, life does not change and what is truly you does not change. It is only your perception that changes.

...Expect great things of yourself, and expect great things of other people. Greatness is a matter of perception. Your world will become what you believe it to be. I know that this seems incredible, but you can change the world by your perception of it. If you are compassionate, you will be understood; if you are generous, you will be cared for; if you are loving, you will be loved; if you help others succeed in their lives, you will succeed in your own life. This is the real irony of life. Some people never understand this until they are old and near death. I have now seen enough old and dying people to this is true.

From this point on in your life, the influence on you of me and your mother wil gradually diminish. I am saddened by this, but I know this is the way that it should be. No one can live your life for you; we all must find our own way in the world. What you do with your life and what you become matters only to the extent that it brings you happiness and peace. You will always have my love and support.

With Love,

Your Father"